The Amy Winehouse effect

Amy Winehouse died on Saturday. I don't think it was a surprise to anyone.... We all knew it would end one day, the question was when.

What does surprise me is the emotions it has stirred up in everyone, including myself.

Twitter has been blown up with comments such as "why does anyone care- she did this to herself" or "nevermind Whine-house, a soldier died yesterday"
(apparently we can't have 2 sad stories at the same time)
Then you go on and read both Samantha Ronson and Russell Brand's tributes to Amy on their blogs. They were her friends. And that's the point of this blog.

Before you dismiss her death as something she brought on herself, remember- she had friends, and family who will never understand WHY she chose this path. WHY their love for her wasn't enough to make her choose life. WHY she couldn't stick at the rehab, and WHY she didn't ask for help.
They will never get the answer to any of those questions because the one person who could answer them is gone.

Its strange, this Amy Winehouse effect. When she was alive, I hated that she glamourised drugs. I was frustrated that yet again, the kids of today have a terrible role model who re-invented "cool" to be off your tits, stumbling and slurring, but still able to belt out a huge hit (until more recently) it scared me that there would be kids trying crack or dope for the first time because Amy did it.

Now she's gone, I'm sad, and I'm angry.
I'm sad for her friends and her family. I'm sad for that loss of talent- she had a stunning voice, and some amazing songs.
I'm sad that she couldn't fight her demons, and couldn't take that decision of "no more".

I'm angry, because even though it's a disease, I can't help but think ultimately, if she really wanted to, she could have said "enough". She could have thought of her friends, and her family and swallowed her pride to ask for help.

These are all the questions and emotions I had when I was 11 and my dad died after battling his addiction. I still get angry and need the questions answered now, 24 years on. I'm still resentful that he didn't choose us, he didn't choose life.
But- I learned never to dabble with drugs, and that life is a gift worth living. That's the bittersweet lesson I wish my dad never had to teach me.

Amy's family will always have these emotions, but I hope they find peace, and a need to live life for every opportunity.




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Newlands Dr,Umhlanga,South Africa

Kilimanjaro- to climb or not to climb?

I have made a pretty radical decision I think.

I want to trek Kilimanjaro for charity.




Yes, I know. Around 20000 attempt it every year and therefore what's the big deal?
(that's about 50 people per day plus another 100-150 porters and guides btw)

The big deal is, deep down, I am terrified. I am one of these people who avoids anything adrenalin rush related, or fear inducing. I generally steer clear of confrontations and oh yes, the big one. I'm scared of heights.

I can get on a plane. I can sit in a restaurant in a skyscraper. I can stand on Table Mountain and look across at the incredible view of Camps Bay and the ocean far below. I can't stand on an unfenced ledge and look over the edge. I struggle with big stepladders. I have to shut my eyes on cablecars. Basically, if I can look down and see where I could potentially fall and break myself or worse, I freeze up. Sometimes I cry.

Putting it into perspective, Table Mountain is 3567 feet high.
Kili is the highest point in Africa, at 19341 feet. Over 5 times the height of Table Mountain.

What the hell am I thinking???

Here's my logic. Or maybe lack thereof.
Trekking Kili involves very little climbing. The majority of it is trekking at various different inclines. No ropes or climbing equipment is needed.
You don't need to be hyper-fit to do it, and it doesn't require years of training.
That's not to say it's not difficult, because oh hell yeah, it's tough. You go up pretty quickly, and everyone gets some form of altitude sickness, from dizziness and nausea to full on AMS, which can kill you. (acute mountain sickness)
There are several different routes you can take, with various difficulty levels.




Initially, I was going to trek the Lemosho route, as my work is doing a charity trek through Get Connected, so I did my research. Before making this kind of commitment I need to know that mentally, I think I can do it. There is absolutely no point in even trying it if you believe you will fail before you have even signed up!!
So my research came up with a huge problem. Barranco Wall.



Barranco wall is exactly as it sounds. 800ft of huge rocks to climb up and over using only your feet and hands. No ropes, or safety equipment. Hundreds of people do it, so it must be fairly safe, BUT this is exactly the kind of thing that triggers my fear. I know, for a fact, I would freeze. I would probably cry, and at worst I would have a panic attack and hyperventilate, which is NOT cool when there is a general lack of oxygen anyway.

So that killed my enthusiasm. But then I thought/ there must be different routes that don't include that wall? And it was back to the Internet I went. I love the Internet, and yet it can also be your worst enemy- how many of you have googled symptoms when ill, and scared the bejesus out of yourself???

However... Doing more research I found the Rongai route. It's meant to be the 2nd easiest route, will gentler inclines and no mad bastard rock climbs. It's a 6 day hike, and at points through real wilderness, so maybe not as pretty as the others.
I can live with that, seems a small price to pay to actually get to the summit.




So that's it. 50 odd miles long and almost 20,000 feet up.
One of my girl friends wants to do it with me.
Her 15 year old cousin died 5 years ago from a rare form of brain cancer, and they had made a pact to climb Kili when she was better. My friend wants to climb for the branch of Cancer Research that is trying to cure this form of cancer. She wants to lay daffodils at the summit, which were her cousins favourite flowers.

And me? I want to raise money for 2 charities. AddAction in the UK, and the Jes Foord Foundation in South Africa.

I wish I'd known about AddAction when I was younger. It's a charity that provides support to families dealing with addiction, be it alcohol or drugs. They don't just treat the addict, but they support the entire family in various different ways.
I sometimes wonder how my family would be like now if we hadn't been affected by addiction. I'm blessed to be the only one that came out unscathed, but that was only due to the ferocity and determination of my mother, who still battles to this day.

The other charity is the Jes Foord Foundation, which is a charity supporting rape victims in South Africa. They educate police districts on how to deal with rape victims appropriately and with care. They go to seminars and communities to empower women and girls to speak out- to recognise that they have been raped and need to get help. They provide "survival bags" with shampoo, shower gel, comb, sanitary towel and other toiletries along with a note written by another woman to give her hope that she will survive. These are given out by the police station after they have reported the rape, and the aim is to give comfort.

So that's my goal. I want to raise if I can, £2000 for AddAction and R20,000 for Jes Foord Foundtion.

Let's see how I get on......

Location:Fairview Dr,Umhlanga,South Africa