The Amy Winehouse effect

Amy Winehouse died on Saturday. I don't think it was a surprise to anyone.... We all knew it would end one day, the question was when.

What does surprise me is the emotions it has stirred up in everyone, including myself.

Twitter has been blown up with comments such as "why does anyone care- she did this to herself" or "nevermind Whine-house, a soldier died yesterday"
(apparently we can't have 2 sad stories at the same time)
Then you go on and read both Samantha Ronson and Russell Brand's tributes to Amy on their blogs. They were her friends. And that's the point of this blog.

Before you dismiss her death as something she brought on herself, remember- she had friends, and family who will never understand WHY she chose this path. WHY their love for her wasn't enough to make her choose life. WHY she couldn't stick at the rehab, and WHY she didn't ask for help.
They will never get the answer to any of those questions because the one person who could answer them is gone.

Its strange, this Amy Winehouse effect. When she was alive, I hated that she glamourised drugs. I was frustrated that yet again, the kids of today have a terrible role model who re-invented "cool" to be off your tits, stumbling and slurring, but still able to belt out a huge hit (until more recently) it scared me that there would be kids trying crack or dope for the first time because Amy did it.

Now she's gone, I'm sad, and I'm angry.
I'm sad for her friends and her family. I'm sad for that loss of talent- she had a stunning voice, and some amazing songs.
I'm sad that she couldn't fight her demons, and couldn't take that decision of "no more".

I'm angry, because even though it's a disease, I can't help but think ultimately, if she really wanted to, she could have said "enough". She could have thought of her friends, and her family and swallowed her pride to ask for help.

These are all the questions and emotions I had when I was 11 and my dad died after battling his addiction. I still get angry and need the questions answered now, 24 years on. I'm still resentful that he didn't choose us, he didn't choose life.
But- I learned never to dabble with drugs, and that life is a gift worth living. That's the bittersweet lesson I wish my dad never had to teach me.

Amy's family will always have these emotions, but I hope they find peace, and a need to live life for every opportunity.




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Newlands Dr,Umhlanga,South Africa